Transmissions, Vol. II: “The Comet Catastrophe”

11 Jun

Gorblimey it’s been too long. I’ve been busy (read: unfocused and unmotivated), and I know the temptation to point a trembling finger and wail that the old evil ways have risen again to scour the earth must be overwhelming. I won’t stop you. Excuses, like an origami sponge, tend to be pretty bad at holding water.

I come with an offering; please accept it. Let not your wrath rain down upon my tiny mortal soul! Instead, enjoy my recent submission to one of my writing classes: a rhyming children’s story in the style of Dr. Seuss, about a lonely little boy who dreams of escaping his boring life and venturing forth into the galaxy.

Shut up!

Ladies and gentlemen: Johnny Hubble in The Comet Catastrophe.

One starry June night, when the air was quite clear,

Johnny Hubble played out in the yard.

Through the quiet and dark, all at once he could hear

A faint noise – if he listened real hard.

 

Was it Mom or Dad? He looked back at his house

But they were both silent indoors.

At first it was quiet, like the sneeze of a mouse

But soon it was more like a roar!

It sounded like thunder, but where were the clouds?

He stood there and perked up his ear.

Whatever it was, it was sure getting LOUD,

And more and more quick getting near!

 

Then out of the sky, midst the stars of the night,

Shone a spaceship of metal and glass!

And then, with a flash, a tremendous green light

Lit up Johnny, who stood on the grass.

 

He rubbed his eyes hard, and when he could see,

The ship had touched down near his feet.

It glimmered and glowed like a big Christmas tree!

Johnny gasped, and his heart skipped a beat.

 

And then with a hiss and a groan and a clank

The door to the ship opened wide.

And a man who was roughly the size of a tank

Spread his arm to let Johnny inside.

 

He had on a fine uniform, all silver and red,

And he wore brightly polished black shoes.

He whipped off the cap that was up on his head

And said “Quickly, there’s no time to lose!”

 

“My name is Commander Copernicus, lad,”

Said the man to his new trembling friend.

“You’re needed at once on StarBase Galahad,

Or the world will soon come to an end!”

 

“We’ve watched you since you were a gurgling tot,

We need kids like you who are brave!

And you must be strong now, son – ready or not!

For it’s the whole Earth we must save!”

 

Johnny couldn’t believe it! His dreams had come true!

It was real, from the bolts to the clamps.

Without hesitation he said “I’ll help you!”

And went galloping straight up the ramp.

 

On the bridge was a flurry of beeps, pings, and cries

And a crewman said “Launch on standby!”

With a gigantic lurch, Johnny felt the ship rise

As it blasted off into the sky!

 

Then Commander Copernicus stepped up with a clunk.

“Young Johnny, the time is at hand.

Will you show us your bravery, quickness, and spunk

By joining our StarForce Command?

 

Johnny Hubble said “Yes! I’ll join with your crew,

And serve the Command with refinement.

I just have one question to put forth to you:

What’s up? What’s our current assignment?”

 

Without speaking Commander Copernicus spun

And switched on a holo-projector.

A face then appeared.  A debrief had begun:

“It is I, brave recruits: The Director!”

 

“Our problem,” he growled, “cannot be postponed.”

In his face there was no sign of mirth.

“A comet, my friends,” the Director intoned,

“Is on a direct course for Earth!”

 

Johnny looked at the crew, and then made up his mind.

“I’ll come with you on just ONE condition!

I’ll need, since I’m leaving my planet behind,

My own private ship on this mission.”

 

“Negative,” said Copernicus, suddenly stern,

“That’s not the StarForce Command way.

Your copilot’s essential, as you will soon learn!

We work as a team here, okay?”

 

Then up jumped a girl, who was aged about five,

And said “You seem like a nice fella.

I’ll be your copilot! I’m the best one alive!

And oh – by the way – my name’s Stella.”

 

Johnny Hubble was smug as he chuckled, “No way!

The very idea makes me hurl!

I don’t need a copilot to help save the day,

Nevermind a dumb, gross little girl!

 

The Commander was sad, because he knew too well,

That Johnny’s teamwork wasn’t great.

From his years of observing the boy he could tell

That he needed to cooperate!

 

Poor Stella seemed hurt, but returned to her work,

And Commander Copernicus sighed.

Then he opened a hatch, and turned round with a jerk,

And roughly pushed Johnny inside.

 

The boy found himself in the glass canopy

Of a ship with a thousand bright switches!

And hung next to him on the wall he could see

A fine pair of boy-sized Space-Britches©.

 

He pulled on his suit and he heard a loud voice.

“The comet is now in Earth’s zone.

Since you’re going solo, as was your own choice,

It is you who must stop it alone.”

 

Johnny strapped himself in, and took hold of the stick,

And breathed deep. Then the countdown begun.

Then the voice said, “Good luck!” and, his blood turning thick,

He heard it say “4…3…2…1!”

 

His craft blasted off with an ear-splitting shriek,

And Johnny was launched into space!

And then, through his screen, as he ventured a peek,

The comet’s light shone on his face.

 

He fired up his thrusters and sped through the black,

With his targeting sights on full lock.

“This is it!” thought the boy, “Now there’s no turning back!”

As he neared the huge lump of space-rock.

 

He readied the Comet-Destructo Array

But his hands were all shaky and weak.

The comet was HUGE! It was coming his way!

And his ship flew right by like a streak.

 

By the time Johnny Hubble returned to the base,

His head was hung low in remorse.

Shame and embarassment were marked on his face

As he said, “I can’t be in StarForce!”

 

“I thought I was brave!” said the boy to the crew,

“But the time came and I got cold feet!

I do not deserve to be comrades with you.”

And he cried, right in front of the fleet.

 

Commander Copernicus beamed as he bellowed,

“Now Johnny, belay all those tears!

You’ll stop the disaster with help from your fellows,

For they’ll help you face your fears!”

 

Johnny Hubble was soothed, and his eyes became bright

As he said, “OK then! Just one minute!”

He ran over to Stella and asked “Will you fight?

Well, copilot? Will you help me win it?”

 

Stella grinned as she nodded, and she gleefully sang

“Yes, of course! Now let’s go save the day!”

As they boarded their ship the alarm klaxons rang

And the crew shouted “Hip-hip-hooray!”

 

In the blink of a quark they were speeding ahead

Toward the hunk of rock, crystal, and ice.

Johnny gave the thumbs-up, and a laser – bright red –

Carved the comet in half with one slice.

 

The planet was safe from defeat once again!

And Johnny went home in his ship.

But not before he said goodbye to his friends,

Who had taught him so much on his trip.

 

Every child who treasures their telescope knows

That there must be life out on Mars.

And there’s a grand destiny waiting for those

Who dream of exploring the stars.

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4 Responses to “Transmissions, Vol. II: “The Comet Catastrophe””

  1. Sonia Vaillant June 12, 2011 at 3:31 pm #

    Marry me.

  2. Rage Cage June 13, 2011 at 1:32 am #

    This was AWESOME. Way cooler than Dr. Seuss! I read it out loud to Dani to make sure I had all the timing right, she thought it was wicked awesome also. Thanks for blogging again old boy!!

  3. jcdynamite June 13, 2011 at 2:09 am #

    AW YOU GUYSSSS. Thank you. Now all it needs is some snazzy illustration!

  4. George C. Young June 17, 2011 at 12:24 am #

    Not quite Iambic meter, maybe closer to LowCoo style with multiple JustinPositions and few nature references. Beam me up!

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